From Playboy to Professor: Jo Wetherford’s Journey Through Addiction & Psychedelic Healing

Transcript (Auto translated can have spelling mistakes)

hello hi welcome to my podcast and uh um who are you basically uh we can actually I have gone through some of your podcast and stuffs like that in which you've been uh being a model in Playboy then uh you went to be become a professor and uh you know on the on the way you got addicted to alcohol and uh uh there are some therapies you have uh used to come out from this particular addiction so can you can you talk bit more about this how all this has happened well I became severely addicted to alcohol at a very young age so I was 12 when I actually developed that full-blown addiction and I tried everything I was not one of those people in denial like I knew I had a problem I knew I needed help I was willing to get help I tried therapy I tried traditional treatment centers um I did everything that I could I would have like a year maybe a year and a half sober I would relapse it would be worse afterwards when I started drinking again and so um yeah I finally tried aversion therapy and that's actually how I got sober it's a very controversial treatment where you actually drink after um taking epicac which makes you vomit so it makes you violently ill um and so yeah that kind of started me down the rabbit hole of exploring Alternative forms of healing so what sort of healing you have tried uh I mean uh when we are saying it controversial uh like uh how does it can be a controversial therapy and what sort of basically well it's that particular form of treatment aversion therapy is very hard on the body so they actually inject you with a shot and it's it induces flu like symptoms and then you drink a water glass full of epicac which is usually you would take a tablespoon of it to induce vomiting like if a child ate something poisonous so I was drinking a water glass full and then I was slamming like 10 to 20 huge glasses full of alcohol and you're just throwing up violently for hours on end so it's controversial because of the toll it takes physically on the body but the other thing they did is they would do an IV of it was truth serum and propenol which is the drug that Michael Jackson actually overdosed on and so they would do an IV of it and you would wake up in a different room an hour later and then listen to counseling sessions with your unconscious so anytime we use a drug to treat drug addiction it's exceptionally controversial however it's it's very very effective for many people when we look at traditional treatment centers it's called Minnesota model you go in it's 28 days you basically do meetings you know you detoxed you're supervised that is very very low rate of success we're looking at one out of a hundred is maybe going to be sober five years from now so with these more Alternative forms of therapy we're seeing way greater results like my cohort there were 20 of us seven of us are still sober 12 years later I mean that's astronomical as far as success rates um but to me that's that's the thing that people are most afraid of using drugs to treat addiction I mean the biggest one right now is Iain and they're starting clinical trials they're beginning to look at that um that's a plant medicine I've actually done twice and I I of course was already sober when I did it but I can see where it would be extremely effective in treating addiction when uh we talking about the IV which you have gone through I mean you during the uh section the treatment session uh the component what was the component exactly what is the what what it does to the body and how does it affect the body so propenol is actually used in emergency rooms as an anesthetic um it can be used but one of the brilliant things about it is when you are under the use of propenol you can still speak so we can get into the unconscious when it's dosed appropriately and it's almost like getting 20 hours of rest so where lots of anesthetics are very difficult on the body you wake up feeling groggy and irritable and angry and is very very hard on the system propenol actually lets the body restore which again is why Michael Jackson started using it nightly to sleep and obviously that's very dangerous but when when it's dosed appropriately you can do counseling with the unconscious and you can not only talk about the trauma you're carrying that you may not consciously be able to access but they also implanted affirmations when you're in that altered state of consciousness like I don't crave alcohol I don't drink I am sober so in that very vulnerable open State they implant stories and embed that into the unconscious and as I said it was for me extremely effective 12 years I've never once wanted a drink I mean that amazing so you did this particular treatment almost 12 years ago um it was 12 years ago um yes almost exactly so when we are talking about the drugs the drugs will induce different kind of feeling to different kind of people and the different level of the uh shorts is being uh prescribed or uh different level of the uh substance which will be given to different people I mean like uh when a substance induce uh some kind of feeling on me it the same same amount of the substance will create different kind of feeling on you so how how do you get to know the uh the amount of the uh substance which you have to take through IV or something that well in that case there is a very it's it's a medical procedure so it is a doctor administering it and they they just have it down to a science based on you know male female body weight height all of that where they know where they want you to be at but I love what you're saying because I also do a lot of work with plant medicines and you're exactly right you give five grams of mushrooms to somebody based on their current frequency and level of Consciousness they're going to have a much different experience as someone else same height same weight same age same everything right based on where they're at what they're ready for their level of Consciousness we will see two very very different experiences I mean in that case it's it's the medicine the medicine is so wise I mean the medicine has its own Consciousness and it it to me what I believe is it it knows intrinsically what needs to come through and how to achieve that um with the other with a medicine like propenol that's a medical doctor making that determination so you are giving an input to the uh the person who is giving you this particular treatment before or uh is is there is a uh uh is there uh a um let's say there is a clinical amount of the substance which has to be given is there any anything documented or anything that sort yeah so there's lots of counseling and intake forms and you know like lots of information is collected prior to that session because it's also important that while the patient is under true serum and propenol that the appropriate questions be asked I mean there is a therapeutic process to that and so yes there was there was a lot of information gathered beforehand prior to that session so that will help the person to decide uh what amount of the substan has to be given sure is that uh yeah okay um so when we talking about you being also experimented with the other kind of plant medicines like uh there are a lot of plant medicines which is been given from the yogis or shamans to induce a different level of Consciousness all together to the people uh from centuries uh so when you when we are talking about the different kind of plant medicine uh what is that uh making to uh making you to like you know like uh when during especially during this particular section they have given you an IV and uh your level of Consciousness is being got altered and uh there a kind of uh you know um counseling is being given uh so uh so is this is been possible with other sort of PL medicines what do you think on that like absolutely um and first I'll say set and setting is so important I mean anytime we take anything in a therapeutic setting we need to have a guide that is trained and you know the medicine is tested and we do it safely this is not like oh just sit in your living room and you know take five grams of mushrooms and see what happens um there's a very very tight energ container and a therapeutic process that is meant to happen but whether it's psilocybin MDMA whatever we're using the goal is to get into the unconscious I mean 90% of our lives are actually run by our unconscious programming and a lot of times we'll see this in traditional talk therapy where someone has an aha moment and they can go oh I keep doing this pattern because of this but they can't get out of it they have an awareness intellectually they understand but their heart is not connected so that change doesn't really happen so the goal with these medicines is to you know there is a deep spiritual component as well but it is to open our hearts and to be able to get into the unconscious programming that we typically do not have access to and that's where we can have have aha moments but actually shift our physiology and that's how we change when we think about something traumatic that happened to us but we can't move it through our body then that's what we would call trauma it is energy that is stuck and we keep reliving it and when we think about something or experience a sensation it triggers that trauma in our physiology it's like we're back there living it so the goal was something like MDMA therapy we have a veteran with PTSD we give them MDMA so MDMA is going to flood the body with feel-good chemicals now when they go in and they retell that traumatic story it's not only being heard by a compassionate witness who can hold space but that energy is actually moving and we're reimprinting a new emotional response to that story because the chemicals in the euphoria is flooding as we're recalling it so we're literally pairing a new emotional response with that memory and it's important to remember too that with anything with any kind of trauma the goal is not to release it outside of us it is to lovingly integrate it into our beingness so that is that is a very very different Philosophy from traditional Psychotherapy like exposure therapy for example you have a trauma I'm going to play a sound or show you an image and I'm going to expose you to it so many times with the goal that you don't care anymore you're desensitized to it I don't agree with that I believe if something hurts you it it will always hurt you but the goal is to be able to love yourself grieve it integrate it into your beingness so that it no longer controls you mhm mhm so uh what do you think uh basically uh we know the uh substances or the let's say the plant substances that can induce the different layer of the Consciousness on the being and that can help he or she to uh integrate and feel better in their body and uh you know and Achieve uh greater things with this particular kind of feeling and um when we are talking about this thing the substances is being banned in different uh parts of the world in different way for example in India we is been banned and this is been legal in some part of other part of India and not everywhere in the country and uh some sort of mushroom is been banned somewhere and you know even iasa is been banned in some other places which has been legal in uh I don't know maybe legal in bra the shamans are taking that thing out and so how do you see this uh like you know because um the plant medicine can give a lot of improvement on human beings same time it can uh it can make them addicted also like it is something like you know a a blade which has sharped in the two edges basically so how do you what what you I mean you are somebody who got the uh advantages or the you got a therapeutic healing with the help of substances how do you reflect on this particular uh situation yeah it's a well first let me talk about the importance of integration because well psychedelics are inherently non-addictive because of their nature I can't take five grams of mushrooms today have this huge profound experience and then do it again tomorrow and then do it again the next day it w work literally it just will not work and so the they are not physically addictive but I do believe we can get addicted to the experience of having these transformative you know spiritual experiences and when we get greedy and when we chase that experience without proper integration that's where I do see massive consequences I mean you meet those people and they're just gone they're just very disconnected certainly if somebody has a history of psychosis or anything of that nature these medicines are not going to be appropriate because they do unlock the psyche in ways that you may not be able to put back together so it's really important that we realize these are sacred experiences that require a lot of therapy or coaching pre before and after so that we can take what we learned anchor it in you know and not just chase the next experience as far as the legality um I do understand why it is so terrifying for governments and medical professionals and everyone to say okay we're just going to make this legal right but the issue is things don't need to be come legal to become available and therapeutic settings so like in the states we have a couple places that have decriminalized mushrooms so they're not legal I can't just go into a Circle K and buy them but if I have them I'm not going to go to jail which you know makes sense to me especially when you start looking at pharmaceutical medications that are out there that cause astronomical harm to people um if you are somebody that has mental health issues and you are helped by pharmaceutical medication great I I support that anything that improves your quality of life I am all for and the reality is we know a lot of people who take anti-depressants anti-anxiety medications you know the solution is much more damaging than than the actual problem when we look at something like mushrooms for example when done correctly with the the correct set setting it's unbelievably safe when we screen or psychosis and mental health issues when all of that is done mushrooms are exceptionally safe and the other thing I love about them is micro doing so whether it's LSD or it's psilocybin you can micro do these medications and a true micro do is below the threshold of you being able to feel it so it is working in you but you're not conscious of it it's not like you're sitting there tripping out trying to go to work a micro do is a very way for individuals to get the benefits of these medications without having some huge blown out astronomical experience and I believe that psilocybin can be amazing especially for things like depression um the neuroplasticity the way it rewires the brain it just turns all of your circuits on and again like no side effects you know I mean it's it's pretty unbelievable but it it is scary and when it's misused or when people are giving people medications and not doing follow-up integration um yes it can be dangerous and right now in America we just had a huge setback MDMA was about to be legalized and then they set it back they said nope we're not even close to ready and new clinical trials with higher expectations are are going to need to be done the problem is the FDA allowed opiates and all of these really really dangerous things onto the market and so now they're going uh oh we need to hold ourself to a higher standard and level of accountability so we don't let that happen again so now they have all these new rules and and it's just a much higher standard to prove something is safe so I do believe that MDMA and cybin will be available therapeutically soon I'm hoping legally um but yeah it's it's just been a long process so when uh we are talking about the psychic there are uh Gatherings are happening uh let's say I think you've been aware about the uh uh Burning Man actually like you know also maybe there is something started in America which is like a hippie movement I would love to say it's a festival that rainbow Festival where uh peop will be using um a lot of psychedelics also there are lot of dance has been happening even though these uh Gatherings are not about uh the usage of the Psychedelic and it has been more of about how we can come together and heal ourself from the conditioning which society might been given or trying to impose on us in one way or another way uh so and also these kind of gathering because of the uh Freedom seeking nature of these kind of gathering this has been banned in Germany some of my friends has been testing this has happened in Germany police has been uh I mean the cops have been um you know coming behind us a lot of things are happening in this in particularly uh like these kind of things how do you see this kind of gathering in the uh in the light of psychedelic and healing and uh the ability to um come into uh a new sort of understanding which will integrate our body Consciousness and mind how do you see you know this for me is where personal responsibility really comes into play you know the the beauty of doing these medicines individually with therapist is it's a very controlled situation if I make the choice to go into one of these gatherings um I need to know myself and I need to know that I've got myself and I need to know that I can control and harness my energy and as long as I know that and I am Discerning and I am trusting I think these gatherings can be a magnificent tools of elevating Consciousness um you know it's like you said there is the edge of the sword right for me being in a group dynamic with everybody looking to open your hearts expand dance move you know feel that interconnectedness we need a group to do that you know for me to really feel myself as others and again it's very important that I know that I got me because there's nobody really there you know controlling and and keeping the keeping you safe within that you have to know so I would certainly say as a first time I would not use psychedelics in a group dynamic that way I would absolutely do it therapeutically learn the medicine you know trust yourself but then those Gatherings are powerful and that's why they want to stop them is because they are so powerful and you know I've had amazing therapeutic ceremonies with these medicines and it has been just as healing for me to be on these medicines dancing hearing the music connecting with like-minded individuals and yes there is a deep craving for so many of us to experience life outside of the Matrix outside of the confines of this prison which they've told us this is what life is supposed to be and we've all said we don't believe you and so those Gatherings are really a celebration of that and I I am so grateful for them have you ever been any uh that sort of gathering which um like I've been I've been into one of the rainbow gathering which has been happened in India and the experience was so amazing I'm still experiencing that uh that sort of beauty still it is coming to me like you know that sort of beauty and that sort of freedom and that kind of music and uh you know the the ability to express our own self Beyond any sort of boundaries and things like that have you ever been to any any kind of this kind of gathering and is there something has happened yes I have um and really it's been more my own Community I live in Mexico and so we'll create our own um which has just been beautiful it's a smaller amount of people we all know one another it's just a really safe beautiful environment um because I was a professor I never went to Bernie man because the semester started right when Bernie man started so that is on my list I can't wait to go I will make that happen um but I also think those small community Gatherings are great you know it doesn't need to be this organized huge Festival it's like we can all create these experiences M um and I I encourage people to explore what that could look like because having having that celebration and that time for connection um it really offsets a lot of what we are experiencing so um we can always just create the festival you know so being a professor what you've been teaching in um university how does it happened well so what I focused on was addiction and I actually taught people that wanted to be therapists so I taught therapeutic counseling skills um and the way it happened I was a graduate student I had a mentor who was very high up in this department and she just one day said do you do you want to teach this class and I had no clue what I was doing I never thought I would be a teacher um I just got the book and it was like go in and figure it out and I my first semester I mean every day I walked in there like just the worst fraud syndrome you could ever imagine like who the hell am I to be telling anyone anything and it was um it was a a beautiful process for me though of just learning and like instead of me coming in and I'm up here and you're down here it was like I had this beautiful relationship with my students where it's like I'm learning just as much from you and my class was wonderful because it was all experiential like we just did therapy you know wasn't read this book and learn all these Concepts it was like no let's learn how to connect let's learn what it means to set boundaries let's learn about vulnerability let's explore how do we be compassionate and curious you know what is the difference between empathy and compassion that's a very important distinction you know um empathy is I will literally feel what you're feeling which can be a great tool when used appropriately but a lot of people get into trouble because they're just walking around just feeling everybody's [ __ ] all the time and that's a horrible way to live you know I don't need to feel what you're feeling to be able to support and love you you know so having compassion is a wonderful characteristic empathy can be be exceptionally dangerous mhhh uh so while you've been teaching have you have you thought this um I mean have you spoken about this particular kind of treatment in the front of your students and how do how did they respond it like you know we all know when we are in a university our mind is totally in different level we are just going into like we are in between the uh you know childhood and you know adulthood we are really uh between these two things and our balance of the body and the ability to Think Through is all everything will be so different in at that particular uh stage uh the friends we are connecting to so have you ever uh thought this uh therapeutic uh stuffs to the student and have you ever think of teaching this to the classroom and have you ever wondered how do they reflect towards this idea maybe this is not a massively adopted technique which where we can actually use the herbs or the substances in order to heal and upgrade ourself how have you ever thought of this how does it happened is there something has happened like that you know it it was really beautiful actually because I I was talking about Psy psychedelic therapy 10 years ago when it was not a mainstream topic and um the University was supportive in allowing me to discuss this which I'm very appreciative of because they certainly could have taken a hard stance of do not mention this this is illegal you know and but they allowed for like really great discussions I mean thankfully John's Hopkins Colombia all the major universities are actually studying these medicines and so a University is going to have to allow discussion about them I mean if John's Hopkins is doing it I have every right to talk about it but I do think that um you know the way in which we talk about these opportunities for healing are are important you know you don't want to just come in and take away from again the sanctity of this process so I do think that there is a reverence that needs to be held in the way that we discuss these medicines and my experience with students is they were exceptionally interested whether they wanted to partake or not or ever have that experience they were very very interested I mean we can't ignore the studies and this opportunity for healing for people and so anybody that has a heart to want to help others is going to be open to a discussion about these medicines and they're not the only way to heal you know there are different somatic therapies EMDR breath work yoga meditation you know there's when we look at healing these medications and I or I'm sorry medicines are a tool this is not like oh I did iasa once and I'm fixed forever and now I'm like you know I don't have to deal with my [ __ ] anymore I hate when I hear those stories because I'm like I hope that happened for you but I don't think that's the way it goes down there are keys that unlock potential but it's like we still have to show up sober and do the work day in and day out like you know what I mean um so I think that psychedelic therapy is a part of a much longer discussion so the how was your modeling thing uh what what how did you got into the industry of modeling well it was very young age my first job was modeling wedding dresses and I was 13 which in hindsight I'm like wow that's really messed up but so um yeah I got into modeling early that was certainly not anything that I thought I would do as a career I wanted to be a broadcast Journal so I wanted to work in television I wanted to report on real meaningful stories um that was my goal and throughout College I was a spokes model for different companies I you know it happened though specifically I met a girl that worked for Playboy who was like you should come with me to this event then it was a tesso then it was just like through her I was in that world and I was drinking so heavily for me that was really the best option at that time like I was so sick there was no way I was going to go get a regular ninto five job I mean no chance so modeling at that time was I could go and work five hours a week and just make insane amount of money so for me it wasn't even necessarily that I wanted to do it or even enjoyed it it was just my best option and there were a lot of parts of it that were glamorous and fun and amazing and then there was a very very dark shadow to that um you know I really I hated my body and people would go why would you hate your body or not all these magazines you must have just you know thought like oh my god I've made it and I didn't have that experience I was constantly being compared to the most beautiful women in the world and told no and losing job it was it was a nightmare you know and I would drop weight and get you know real tiny and then they would say oh you don't have enough curves and then I would get curvy and they'd say you need to be skinnier and it was just like you know you're constantly like oh my God I'm never gonna be enough I'm never gonna be enough you know and it was like oh you're too ethnic looking like I I mean you know what I mean oh okay I'll bleach my hair now do you like me and so it was it was actually um yeah it was a both and there were parts of it that were exciting and fun and so much of it was very damaging and painful um so that experience was a perfect blend of both so uh when we are talking about modeling this is the place where you will be mostly very much conscious about body how do you represent yourself uh to the world which they are uh seeing you in the in the expression of the body uh and the same time there is a soul which is existing that when we are trying to connect uh through this uh via uh different kind of psychedelic healing and things like that how do you see these two stuffs yeah that's a beautiful question um you know back when I was modeling I I didn't have a relationship with myself with god um you know I was in straight survival mode I was so sick um it made sense that I was all about the body you know and I went into an industry that basically affirmed that all the time right you are your body you are what you can Pro provide to society you're going to fit yourself into this mold and you're going to put all of your focus not on your heart not on your spirit not on who you are as an individual but what you look like and what people can get from you um you know nowadays I see beauty especially females Beauty much much differently um there is a mold that so many people are trying to fix right there is a look there is a a weight there is a you know we have all these preconceived constructs based on advertising and social media and everything that gets drilled into our unconscious about what we need to look like as women and it's so empowering when we finally start emphasizing the spirit you know and and how we feel in the world like I work with a lot of clients and they have a belief of if I can lose weight then I'll be pretty and then I'll be lovable so that's one blueprint you can have for your life or you could say I'm worthy of love and I choose to see my beauty now and then if you want to lose weight because you want better health you know better longevity then you come from that place right so it's it's difficult for people to understand but you're never going to be enough the most beautiful women in the world at least a lot of them that I knew hated themselves so that's not even true it's an illusion that oh if I just look this way then I would love myself no you won't that is completely completely an inside job and has so little to do with what you actually look like you know that beauty that Radiance we know those people men and women that may not be beautiful by society's standards but they just radiate this this unbelievable light and we are so magnetized to them so drawn to them we're so drawn to their Compassion or their zest or their Vitality or whatever it is it's like Beauty Fates I don't care take the hottest woman in the world and I guarantee there's a dude sick of having sex with her you know like all these superficial things right that we hear all the time I mean if your beauty and this is what's Danger about the modeling industry if your beauty is what makes you valuable that's terrifying because we are all going to age you know and beauty beauty beauty will disappear in one day or another day for sure yeah it's like okay you may be pretty for your age at 75 sure but like if your value is I'm going to be this sex object good luck with that you know um and so for me I know for sure that fitting a mold being in magazines having lots of people tell me XYZ about myself I hated myself back then I hated myself you know we're now it's like yeah I'm 42 I may model here and there but that's not my emphasis I'm not trying to be beautiful in that traditional sense anymore and I still struggle I'm by no means SA that I don't still deal with body image issues or sometimes go wow this I mean aging is crazy like you start seeing the wrinkles and the gray hair and it's just like how do I embrace myself because my version of hell is holding on you know to my youth or my beauty or success or these outside things you know like I did that so much in my life I am I'm just in this state of surrender of like the happiest people I know are are not fixated on their outward appearance they are so dedicated to the energy that they bring to the table and that for me has has just been yeah it's hard to undo the programming and my own experiences but that is what I am personally working on see uh what do I believe is that when we are looking into the Darwin theory of evolution each each class of the species need to be reproduced themselves so the beauty plays a very big role in uh you know uh um making connections between your partner or between your friends or between your family and but in India there is a saying that all this is Maya I mean it's all all this is illusion so you have to concentrate on your inside uh much more so when we are looking into the theor theoretical idea which leads to uh reproduction because sexuality is the uh way to reproduce a species basically if you want an offspring maybe today it is possible but uh uh as a species this is not imprinted in our uh uh Gene um naturally so uh when we look into that sense like you know there is there is there is a predefined idea about the appearance that could lead to better connections and you know better better But more better lifestyle which we would be interested to have so when we look into that uh the modeling in that particular point of view do you agree with this yeah I absolutely do and I mean just from a brain and physiological response standpoint we are wired to like beautiful things right we like sunsets and you know beautiful women and handsome men fall into that it releases dopamine in the brain like it's a natural response there's nothing wrong with that um and I love beauty and I do think let's take for example the reproduction right there's so many factors that go into it like we're starting to see a Resurgence of the Twiggy you know super super super thin body type well from a reproductive standpoint that's actually a negative you know we're biologically wired more to look for women with hips and full Fuller figures you know when we think about carrying a child so it's interesting always to me when it it convenes you know Society is saying like this is what we should look at and you're like no that chick is so skinny she doesn't even have a period anymore like that girl is infertile like so we're being told that that's what you should worship and want but biologically it's something much different and I think that that's the important thing too is when you look of Trends you know like of what is attractive throughout the you know the entire span it's so different you know and remember too there's somebody for everyone some people are attracted to somebody who looks like this somebody is attracted to somebody looks like that you know I mean this idea that we need to be anything other than what we are is is just ridiculous and for me fitness health Wellness longevity is very important to me so I don't look at somebody who is overweight as you should lose weight so you can be attractive I look at somebody who is struggling with weight and say man I want you to live a full long life you know and when we start approaching weight loss and wellness from that place of like I love you so much I want to protect you and I want you to be able to move and I want you to be in your 80s and 90s and able to lift your grandkids and like that's the space we want to come from as far as taking care of our bod is not oh I need to look a certain way so that I can be desirable you know the intention is everything MH so uh after integrating I I I'm so sure that you've been done a lot of things when uh uh when you are uh trying to do the modeling that that time you have did a lot of stuffs to look beautiful uh uh to shape yourself to get the right shape for you which the media or the outside world which is uh demanding from you that you might been thought about and uh uh do you really integrate uh after going through the therapeutical Psychedelic uh um um intake uh do you really integrate or do you find there is a shape in the mind also H yeah that's a beautiful question I mean what I have personally put my body through to look this way is is absolutely insane and toxic and crazy I mean I was doing speed to lose weight you know I was literally there are drugs that elevate Consciousness and there are drugs that lower our frequency and Coke and speed definitely you know take you into a very sick low frequency and so here I am doing anything I can just not to eat I mean I've had multiple surgeries multiple surgeries people will be like oh my God you're so naturally beautiful and I'm like are you kidding me like I've had a nose job my tits are fake I've had my lips done like you know um and again I was chasing like will you love me now now am I enough and to be honest I don't regret any of my surgeries I love the way I look and would I do it again no like I wouldn't do it again who I am now and for me at that stage of Consciousness that I was at I was doing the best I could to try to love myself and I just didn't know the way to do it you know so I don't I don't regret it um and I wouldn't repeat it if that makes sense and how did you uh after the uh therapeutical IV or the therapeutical Psychedelic intake uh uh do did you found there is there is something which is which I could have done better or uh is there something which is lagging like you know you choose a certain way to looks like for example you did your nose you did your lips and you did your breast and you choose uh a particular way to represent your body to the outside world right so um do you do you really feel that uh um you know after taking the or after you were able to connect to your inner self because when we are taking the IV and that sort of heavy dose of alcohols and from that level we are asking an interceptive questions like uh do I really need this this is the way of therapy which you have gone through so when when you are looking into that inside thing uh did you really found something which is lacking that uh that could be expressed more or uh is there something came out from the stuff well I mean there's been like very specific things that I have worked on traumas I have worked through you know but generally speaking to answer the question it was self-love you know like a genuine compassion and love for myself a a true understanding that we are all God expressing itself as human for a while so all of a sudden I mean I used to be run off the fuel of self-hatred everything I did was to try to prove I was enough and now telling me the money you spend on the nose is actually waste of money well you know what's funny is like I look at photos of myself before and then to now um and I think you know I can trace it back to fifth grade and the boy I liked told me my nose was too big and it like it like landed you know and from that moment forward I hated my nose when I can remember being a little girl um and going wow my nose is so different I love it I love that it makes me look more like you know an Aztec princess and I had this like very different feeling about my face and then this kid tells me I'm ugly and then I believed it and then I was just trapped you know what I mean that became my reality I believed it um and so yeah I couldn't wait to fix it um and again I don't regret doing those things but it is a mindset if my mindset is I need to fit a certain mold or if I become perfect then I'm lovable there's always a it in front of you it's a game of whack-a-mole it'll be your nose and it'll be the face lift and then it will be this and then your whole life will be spent trying to be enough it it has to come from a mindset of I'm already enough and if you can love yourself and know you're already enough then by all means do whatever you want to your face it doesn't even matter anymore if you get a nose job cool if you don't cool you want Botox great go do it you don't awesome that's the kind of energy I I want women to have if you want to do those things great but it's like it's this feeling of I have to in order to be worthy that's a slippery slope that's dangerous and that is a mindset where you will always fail you know what I mean and like I said now I think women should play with their beauty I think they should play with their expression their style and you know there is a consequence to creating a Persona and doing what I've done you know for me dating it's like I have to sit there and go why do I keep dating guys with leaky Sexual Energy well where is my energy you know leaky like I've transformed my body and my face into this kind of more porn star image and now I attract men that want somebody who look like me but I emotionally and spiritually want somebody much different so it's like yeah there is a consequence to our actions as well you know um and I I'm dealing with that and and there is a true there is a true Fallout to some of it as well you know so but my thing is I just play with it all now and I I stick to what I want and what I believe about myself and I am learning that I am not my body and I am still very much in that process M mhh so do you regret the nose decision now you know I don't I love my nose um but I also loved my nose before but I also don't regret it because at the time that version of me it was very important to me it was a gift that I gave to myself which again had I been healed I would have never done it but I wasn't healed and so I can't say I regret it because who I was at that time MH was like so excited for it you know so I'm not going to take that away and I'm G to honor that version of me who that was the best I could do you know um so I don't regret it again would I do it again no so very different very different conversations so what do you want to say to the uh people those who I mean if we look into the society most of the peoples are living in the idea which the society is being imposed on them for example uh women believe this is the uh style of beauty why because somebody has told them that this is how this is what beauty is all about or the all the Medias or the social medias or the books or whatever whatever the informations which is surrounding us everything is feeding us a certain kind of ideas about the uh how do we look uh in the lookwise and how do we how do we look how do we should how do uh we should look inside also like inside programming also is possible because uh uh apart from the true nature of the being uh media can teach you that the empathy let's say we have spoken about empathy this empathy has to be there is a certain definition for empathy so um I mean that is been fed us via the social ideology which is surrounding us this is how it should be this is how it should be like that so uh how do you what do you say because your words are very important where why because you have seen the you have seen your body in a place where how do peoples are going to reflect towards my uh physical look and how the peoples are going to look towards my inside look also because you do the healing and things like that you invite people uh so how do you uh how what do you say to the people from Stand I think we can all collectively agree and and I will say this because truth is always true whether you believe it or not there's an energy of truth that I think when I say this everybody will resonate with it because it is absolutely true the most beautiful people are the most authentic like when you have somebody truly living their most authentic expression and they are just free that is attractive they may not be traditionally quote unquote beautiful according to whatever standard is popular at the time but the most attractive people are the most authentic you know they are happy they are free they are healthy they are thriving they are in their truest Essence that is what is attractive so we can spend years and so much money chasing the standard of beauty but what is actually attractive to people is people who own and harness their power that live authentically that have their style and and energy is just so true you know that's really what we're seeing seeking um somebody like a Miley Cyrus to me is a great example I think she's a phenomenal singer but you know hater lover she's just always been who she is and there's just a a realness to her that like I would take that over a Kim Kardashian any day you know what I mean like that woman's more interesting to me if you could give me an hour with her I love it because she just has this Vitality to her of authenticity so I think rather than putting our time energy and efforts into physical Beauty it's it's again like the the people that are free are the ones that are the most intriguing so authenticity is what basically attract people towards the people this is what you're uh trying to say I really believe that because beauty is so superficial you know I mean I've been in rooms for I disagree because beauty beauty also plays a very important role like you know I mean the physical look also plays a role in the social setting because we really don't have an x-ray I we cannot scan through some people you know I mean yeah we cannot scan through people the physical appearance is what attract people in first place yes and it is and it's it's also like take care of yourself you know take care of yourself because you love yourself you know um they just did this study and it's like women that wear makeup and actually show up in professional settings looking good make astronomical more you know more money than somebody that doesn't care about their physical appearance I also think that that's not good you know like we should honor our bodies we should show up in our greatest expression and again it's like there's a point of diminishing returns it's one thing to take pride in your appearance right and to show up taking care of yourself where it gets detrimental is you know when we cross that Tipping Point into I am a sexuality only the only thing I have to offer is my body you know I need to betray myself in order to secure Connection by trying to appear a certain way like that's the shadow side of it but by all means yeah rocket like like take take pride in your appearance and how you show up in the world definitely and have an authenticity this is what you're seeing yes and show up real you know show up like here I am and this is what I find interesting and I'm interested in you and this is what I have to offer and these are my talents and you know what I mean I think social media really gives us such a skewed idea of you know a false sense of connection and what makes you special it's like no drown out all the noise and just come as real as you can possibly be and like that's what will magnetize people uh so you are also teaching people like online sessions you are providing so what what and all you're providing in a session what do you want to uh like what are you really offering you know what I do with my clients is I help them tell the truth and I help them identify behaviors or addictions that are not serving them and then we energetically sever those cords so that people can live a better life you know so I work with a lot of high performers um that are great at business and horrible at intimacy so sometimes we're working on intimacy and connection within romantic relationships um I work with individuals I have a lot of clients that are trying to stop a behavior like drinking um primarily drinking sometimes it's weed um but yeah so it's like how do you heal what is it the root of that addiction and we ask what is right with the addiction how is it serving you what are you looking for you know those are the types of of questions so I mean really I help people break free from the [ __ ] holding them back whether that is a relationship that's no longer serving them an addiction that is the primary work I do with people so how do people can reach out to you uh like uh do you have a website or do you have uh social media uh how how people can reach out to you like you know whether it is a completely online or uh do you really need a physical presence of the person in order to give your sessions or anything that sort um I do imperson intensives but most of my work is done online which is beautiful Co showed us how powerful that can be and it allows me to work with people all over the United States which is amazing and certainly that would be cool to get my first International client so yeah people can go to my website recovery remixes. comom or Joe weatherford.com and then I am very active on social media Instagram and Facebook under joe. wetherford MH is there anything else you want to tell to the people who are uh just listening to this particular podcast anything uh any particular message you know it's just been coming up for me a lot lately just this reminder you don't have to believe your thoughts you know what I mean it's like this thing happens right and based on your programming we can tell a million different stories about it and just remember you're at choice on the stories you tell and I'm not saying lie to yourself but I am saying that you can reframe anything you know like I went through a divorce I could have said oh my God this is awful no one will ever love me again you know or I could say wow that wasn't the right person for me great now I'm free to go and find him like there is always an alternative View and so if you find yourself in the victim in the Martyr and the poor me and this shouldn't have happened to me it's really important to reframe those stories nothing is happening to you it is happening for you and when we are empowered we are able to use challenges as our greatest opportunities for growth so you know just really really be diligent with your thoughts yeah thank you for being the biggest uh yeah